2. Do others like you? Do you want others to like you?
J’hasi frowned, ears flattening a little.
“Seems like some people do. Or they at least tolerate my presence. I’m…not exactly sure someone likes me unless they come right out and say it, and normally people don’t do that.” He sighed, rubbing at his jaw as his eyes flicked to his boots.
“Wanting people to like me, though… That’s… …I do and I don’t… I’d like that, because…I miss familiarity. I miss having friends. But…” ‘I’m afraid of hurting them. I’m afraid of messing everything up. I’m afraid they’ll be in danger because of me. …I’m afraid that they’ll turn on me…’
“…I’m a fugitive. I can’t afford to get attached.”
—
4. How do you know when you’re in love? (romantic or platonic)
“I don’t.” The answer was abrupt, ears flicking back as his gaze lowered.
“At least…I don’t think so… …when someone I cared about…really cared about was in danger…” J’hasi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away off to the side.
“I don’t know… I never asked Maarzi about that. Part of me wishes I just would’ve. I still don’t know what I felt about her… It was different than with Baht or Brynring, even Jeer-rah.” A long sigh issued from his nose before he shook his head.
“I don’t know. If they’re my friend, I care about them. That…that should be enough…”
—
13. What could make you break your own moral code?
The Khajiit’s expression hardened.
“Ask the Thalmor. Or anyone else who hurts or kills those who can’t defend themselves. Any who abuse their power over those without…they don’t get mercy.”
He had been stalking one of the bigger of these weird, new flat-faces for a while now. A whole five minutes maybe! But when he rushed up to take them out at the knees…he realized just how…huge…they were. Marsh stumbled to a halt, tail curling under his legs a little before he puffed out his chest, making him look maybe a tiny bit bigger than he did before.
“<I wanna touch yer feathers! Please?>” he barked out, swishing his tail impatiently behind him before hopping in place, stiff-legged and making grabby hands at the long reddish feathers laying over the big one’s head and shoulders, even on their face! If they didn’t let him touch, he’d take back his truce and go for the knees. He’d be able to reach if they’d just get down here.
After all these years, who knew that I would run into Jeer-rah again? Granted, it could’ve been under better circumstances, but they recognized me before we killed each other at least. It turned out they had joined up with some other members of different tribes to drive back some Dunmer that had attacked our tribe in retaliation for another tribe attacking their settlement. Apparently the village I had visited and defended was housing them, ignorant of what the marauders had done to their neighbors.
I thought the war had been over once Oblivion was sealed away, but it seemed that the Hist had other plans in mind once it knew of the Dunmer’s weakened state.
That…doesn’t matter right now though. Jeer and I talked for a long time, telling me all that happened after I was taken. Sees hadn’t taken the news well, and had been one those who supported the raids on the slaver camps near the borders. They asked me to come back to the tribe and see everyone again, maybe even stay for a while. I could tell they missed me, but I also could tell they were too happy to see me, desperate for me to stick around, that they didn’t see how much I’ve changed. I didn’t want the tribe to see me how I am now. Of course, that’s when Sees showed up and…
I’m not ashamed to say that I cried a little. I had missed them for so long, and to finally see them again… I could tell they knew how I was different, but still held me like I was a hatchling, five years again and so happy to see them. ‘My little one, my little Ei’ they called me. That’s when I started crying. Jeer was smart enough to keep quiet for that part at least.
Sees had asked Jeer to leave us be for a bit and asked me questions about what happened to me, where I had been, what had I been doing. They seemed grave at first, concern in those old yellow eyes of theirs, but by the end of it, they had smiled and thanked me for keeping strong, keeping alive. They told me they knew something was different about me, how the Hist had told them to save me. (The fact that I was nearly eaten by those I came to know as family was shocking and more than a little alarming, but not unsurprising, given the circumstances.)
They told me that I was welcome to stay if I wished, but also seemed to know that I was going to leave soon anyway. The mention of ‘that shadow over my soul’ bit made me sure that they knew exactly what was wrong with me.
Sees and I kept quiet for a while after that, hugging and letting me listen to their heartbeat like when I was a hatchling, while probably enjoying soaking up all my body heat in the process. Sees gave me their blessing and said that I was free to return if I wished once I felt the time was right before vanishing back into the swamps once more.
Jeer decided to camp with me tonight. They’re currently laying over me, dead asleep, as if afraid I’ll leave without saying goodbye. After how I acted today, I really don’t blame them.
But…it was nice, seeing my family again. My heart aches to leave them, but…I have something I have to do first. And even then, who knows how different I’ll be when I’m done.
He didn’t remember much. The Khajiit had been hungover and half-asleep, his scarf over his nose to protect it from the chilly air. But his ear had caught the sound of someone speaking to that one professor…Drevis? He saw the Dunmer and presumably a visitor to the College, a Bosmer, chatting across the courtyard. Whatever it was about, he didn’t get a chance to find out, as he ran smack into the stone arch around the doors to the Hall of the Elements on his way to the Arcanaeum. A few hissed curses in Dunmeris and Jel alike slipped from his lips before he moved over to push the door open and slip inside.
“Your craftsmanship is unlike any other. Over a hundred years, and this spear is still holding up just fine, no creaks or cracks, not even a loose head. I almost wish that I would’ve asked you how you did it, but then again, you’d probably never tell, would you? It was the same when we were kids. Anytime you had a surprise or a secret, you’d have the stubbornest jaw out of all of us.
“I’m glad that we had some time to spend with each other before it was your time to go. I still intend to keep that promise, if you’ve held up to yours. Guess we’ll find out after my heart stops, hm?”
vvardenfellcat 