4E 108, Elsweyr
It’s been ten years today. Maarzi probably doesn’t remember the exact day, but I remembered the shift in seasons from the fading spring to the scorching summer when I passed into Elsweyr for the first time, how hard it was to keep hydrated in what felt like a place doing all it could to cook me alive. Ten years I’ve been traveling with her, ten years of contracts and meeting her friends, family, all the good and bad times we shared… It’s incredible when I think back to then, when I had been convinced that the world was my enemy. I’m not sure how I survived living then, so full of mistrust and paranoia. It’s been hard, yes, but hasn’t that how it’s always been?
Of course it still hurts, knowing that I can’t share with her the same as she’s shared with me. My family is either dead or in places too dangerous for outsiders, and my only friends left still breathing are the ones sitting right across from the table from me. She’s all that’s good in this world, through the pain and the struggle she smiles, all fire and fight. Maybe that’s why I felt drawn to her even during that dark time since Jeer rejoined the Hist, left me behind.
Yet even with all that good… I can’t help but think that it can’t last forever. I haven’t aged a day in the last decade, nor will I ever. It hurts to know that, someday, she’ll fade from this world same as everyone else, and I’ll be left alone again. I don’t like to think about it, but I have to face reality and know that it will happen, when, I don’t know. I’m afraid of that day coming too soon, but even thirty, forty years from now is too soon. Because once she’s gone, and if I haven’t gotten the cure by then, I can’t follow. I’m not even sure even with the cure if I could follow, where she’d go. I don’t want to lo
[The last few lines are smeared and unreadable.]
vvardenfellcat 