His brows furrowed, mouth pressed tight as his tail tip flicked quietly behind him.
“I’ve only been in Skyrim for maybe a month, month and a half now. That’s hardly enough time to grow to love anyone. Platonic or otherwise.” The Khajiit’s flattened ears pulled back as he was made to continue answering the questions, despite wanting to leave it off at that. He sighed, gently rubbing his forehead with the tips of his fingers.
“There’s at least two people I would like to see again, but…they’ve their own lives and paths to keep them occupied. I’m fond of Rhen and Brielle both, but I haven’t known them long enough for much more than that.” J’hasi’s gaze lowered a little, a little hurt flicking over his face.
“And that Aldaril lad…I can’t trust him, knowing that he’s in the Thalmor. I can’t risk getting any closer to him. It would be stupid to get too attached to people around here anyway. I’m a fugitive, and a monster on top of that. Too much at stake.” His expression pushed a notch closer to miserable, his ears drooping a little as his shoulders tensed closer to himself.
“Far as…relatively recent platonic love goes…Baht was one. Good kid. Most of the Blades I felt some form of bond with, but Baht…he was special. I trained him myself and watched over him as he grew up… I was so proud of him. …I’m pretty sure I was in love with Maarzi. Whether it was romantic or not I can’t say. I have no idea. I don’t exactly know how romantic love works. From what I can tell, it’s the same as platonic love, except that people who aren’t even involved expect you to bed each other and get married and have little ones. But then again, I was told by Maarzi herself that none of that was required. Even after mulling over what she explained in the years since, I still don’t understand it.” J’hasi rubbed at his jaw with his knuckles.
“People always say that they would die for their partner, but I would die for my friends just as quickly if it came down to it. In stories, I used to wonder why people would do such overtly suicidal things for each other, to ‘prove their love’, and it was packaged to be the prime example of romantic love. If it truly was love, one wouldn’t have to prove it to anyone. It just is.” The Khajiit sighed, looking confused and frustrated as his ears pinned back.
“I would kill to protect my friends if required, but I wouldn’t do stupid things like jumping off of cliffs and related idiocy like that. So that, and how other people view you and whoever you love seems to be the only difference. Idiocy and expectation. Both of which I try to avoid on a daily basis. If I give a damn about someone, the only people who should be concerned about the exact nature of it is me, and whoever I have those feelings for.” he huffed, gaze flicking back to the ground.
vvardenfellcat 