anyways – vvardenfellcat

[IRL update of sorts:

1. job acquired. I’m exhausted most of the time but I actually really do like my job (which considering its the first job I’ve had that I don’t have friggin’ panic attacks every morning just at the thought of going to is a goddamn miracle)

2. apartment acquired. Parent I haven’t talked to in years, we reconnected, get along, and now he’s helping me out to get a stable situation, which includes a place of my own. It’s safe, quiet, and not too far from my job, plus I can keep a snake there as well as get unlimited high-speed internet. NO MORE DATA CAPS AND SATELLITE INTERNET SPEEDS FOR ME THANK FUCK

3. I’m actually doing somewhat okay for the first time in…years? Ever? Like I’m still stressed out bc there’s too much going on at once, and I’m a bit upset that I can’t immediately go back to school and finish my degree so it’s done, but…iunno. I feel less like dying nowadays so that’s good.

I still miss my friends online and in Ohio, and I’m fucking terrified of being trapped in one place, but maybe it’ll be good for me to actually stay in one place and just recuperate and save up money, get stuff organized rather than frantically trying to piece together a boat while treading water. Plus having a good internet connection 24/7 again will help because I do recognize that if I don’t have some internet time to unwind to it does negatively affect my mood. What can I say, I love watching idiots rp in games, I love doing that. Plus playing games with friends, talking to friends, etc. I still want to find a World of Darkness tabletop rp group but like I can give it time and learn how to DM and maybe I’ll just make my own. WIth blackjack. And hookers!

TL;DR things are getting better and while I’m still struggling with stuff it’s not quite as overwhelming to the point that I can’t do anything to fix it. Plus I’m actually excited to get a pet snake (since dogs and cats aren’t allowed at my new apartment), so I’ll have more than just a fish friend who is confined to the tank rather than being able to cuddle with me.

I love cuddling with snakes, shush!]

[Holy fuck I have a tolerance for booze, unfortunately I’m also forgetful apparently bc I forgot a thing at the barcade. Sober atm I think? Blind af bc I have no idea where my glasses are atm, I know a friend mentioned i broke them again when I got home so that’s my priority atm as well as fluids.

HAPPY NEW YEARS I HAD FUN N I’M COLD ATM BUT GOOD TIMES YE]

J H A S I (barbarian abcs)

Jarl: How *does your muse address royalty? Would they carry out an order at the request of a Jarl?

He’ll be a little more respectful than usual, but it comes off as a little casual when dealing with royals of other cultures. If he’s not pleased with a certain ruler, then he’ll be curt and to the point, but not outright disrespectful…usually…

Unless the Jarl intended to pay him or he respected them, he would not.

—

Halfling: How do they view half-breeds?

Same as anyone else. If you asked him to pull a half-breed out of a lineup, he’d be hard pressed to do so unless it was super obvious.

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Alchemy: Which ingredients do they most often collect and how successful is their potion brewing?

He’ll collect valuable ingredients depending on where he is. He’ll sell stuff he knows is useful/in high demand/valuable to local apothecaries and the like, usually at a discount if he’s been hanging around the area long enough to get to know the shopkeeps. Payment is usually gold at first, but will shift to more of a barter system once he finds them trustworthy enough.

Don’t ask him to make potions. He can make a few poisons, but his skill at alchemy is more around certain plants or substances that help speed up healing or stave off infection. He leaves actual alchemy to the people who know what they’re doing.

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Shivering Isles: How *does your character handle the topic of mental illness? If *they’re mentally ill themselves then how are they currently dealing with it?

He doesn’t think about it much. His education on mental illness is more of running into people who are a little off, and they’re rarely dangerous. He’s mentally ill but doesn’t think of himself as such. As for dealing with it… I’d say ‘not well’ covers it.

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Inn: What *does a typical visit to an inn entail for your character? What foods do they normally order?

Answered! I went into more detail here.

⊙!

I think you are:

Joy

Well, relieved joy he’s usually smiling and crying and laughing, his ears are pricked and his body is relatively relaxed (sometimes his shoulders aren’t). Usually he’ll try to hug or touch (since it’s usually the case) whoever he’s happy to see alive and okay and his tail will curl around their legs a bit. There’s lots of pressing his forehead or face against their shoulder or chest or something along those lines as well if he’s close with them.

When it’s a situation he’s gotten out of okay it’s similar, though if he’s in public he won’t cry, though he’ll have tears in his eyes, and his reaction is much more muted. If he’s by himself in the wilds, though, it’s similar, if a little less than if he finds someone he cares about alive and well when he’s been dreading some sort of harm coming to them (usually those of the life-threatening sort, not like ‘oh they went to get milk and haven’t come back in an hour’ sort of situation).

True joy…I can only recall when he was a little kid, running around and playing with his friends in Black Marsh, some occasions during his enslavement. J’hasi would smile, eyes bright, ears pricked, and his body usually vibrating with excitement, laughing and usually running around because holy crap he had energy as a kid. Usually he would hug someone he cared about or he’d chase whatever was delighting him so much. Fireflies were a big culprit.

[Here have the bits of things I finished today.]

Do you think the Empire is, or was, a good thing or a bad thing? Should the provinces be both peaceful and powerful in unity, or should they value their independence?

“Do I look like the sort of person that would know that?” he snapped, scowling a little at the stranger before returning to cleaning his spear, wiping over the head of it with a rag.

“From what I’ve read, the provinces always fought before the Empire united them, and they fought less after, but the Empire didn’t understand those they ‘conquered’, so problems rose up regardless.” The Khajiit’s fingers pressed the cloth along the edge of the binding, cleaning underneath where the head connected to the shaft.

“But most of those books were written by Imperials, raised in Imperial ways, and had a glorified ideal of their Empire permanently imprinted in their heads. They believed wholeheartedly that the Empire was ‘taming the savages’ or some sort of equivalent, because anyone who wasn’t part of their little group was deemed ‘wrong’ just for being different.” He worked over the binding, eyes focused on his task while his ears flicked back.

“You can’t trust everything you read. I lived in a place where the Empire meant nothing, and when I was taken, the Empire allowed me to remain…a possession.” His claws scratched against the haft.

“And when I was starving in their very capital, they never did a damn thing about it other than toss me in the dungeons every so often. And then they released me, only to ask a favor that’s led me down a path of damnation that I’m still paying for.” Claws tore the cloth, fingers curling at the sound and giving up on rubbing it clean, turning to grip it instead, staring at the weapon with a contemplating, bitter look.

“I’ve hated the Empire for a long time… But with the Thalmor…” J’hasi’s gaze lowered to his hands, expression adopting a more tired edge.

“…I don’t know if it was good or bad. At this point, it’s moot. It’s dead. The provinces that broke away, most are on their own. They’re weakened, scattered… Maybe if the Empire was what it had been, or should’ve been, it could protect them from the threat from the Thalmor…but…” His expression hardened, staring at the torn fabric.

“It was wrong…wrong to claim dominion over the provinces, take what they wanted from them, without making sure their needs were met.”