brothersofthedominion:
Aldaril inhaled, curling his lips inward, “…Y-… Yes n’ no.” He took another swill of the wine, “He joined cos’ I joined, an- and– an–” His body jolted from a hiccup, “Y’ask me, he’s here cos’ he tryin’ to be somethin’ he uh– he’s tryin’ to be something he can’t— he shouldn’ be tryin’ to be. Cos’ erryone at home treats ‘im like gryphon shit. Callin’ ‘im ‘hulkynd’ or ‘ephem’ over stupid shit like brown eyes or somethin’.’”
He grimaced, hands clutching his face, he wasn’t sure talking about this kind of shit to a complete stranger was the best idea, but in his groggy mind, for once having this filth lifted off his chest felt nice… Y’know?
“I shoulda stopped ‘im, y’know? We’re th’ only thing we…– we got fer eachother, y’know what I’m sayin’? I shoulda told ‘im to go home an’ that he ain’ got no place ‘ere, but everytime he did do somethin’ right and got praised for, he lit up like fuckin’ Saturalia lights– actin’ like he ain’t ever got praised before or like tha’ was the first time he ever been accepted an I–”
He exhaled deeply, taking another gulp of wine, his arm sloppily dropping to the floor. “I ain’ got th’ heart to strip ‘im of what little acceptance he gets.”
The Khajiit’s ears flicked back, swallowing. He’d be lying if the mer’s mood wasn’t affecting his own, in fact he almost…felt bad for the guy. While he couldn’t make a lot of sense out of the details of Aldaril’s confession, it was clear he cared about his brother and felt it was his fault he turned out like…well, an arrogant Thalmor s’wit, entertaining delusions of superiority. J’hasi rubbed the side of his jaw, looking down at the worn straps of his boots, tail curling around his ankles. It was a lot to process, but once he understood the gist of it, he sighed, hunkering down and hugging his knees.
“I know arguing with a drunk isn’t all that effective, but…you really shouldn’t blame yourself. His choices are his own. His behavior is his own. No one twisted his arm into joining, and no one is twisting it for him to stay.” The Khajiit’s head barely turned, glancing at the inebriated Altmer at his side, his voice soft.
“No one is twisting yours either, from what I can tell. If…if this life, this cause isn’t one you believe in…can’t you just…leave?”
vvardenfellcat 