20, 25, and 28

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

J’hasi doesn’t always compare himself to others, but usually when he does it’s self-criticism, ranging from general intelligence, skills, and appearances (usually build, amount of muscle/fat/height). This happens a LOT at the College nowadays, comparing his magic skill to others, or…y’know…being able to write papers, understanding what’s being said in lecture, actually able to speak to the professors without sounding like an idiot…

The few times when it’s self-validating is when he compares himself to people he dislikes, which isn’t often but it has happened. Some people end up being almost like rivals to him (though he would deny that outright if asked), making sure that no matter what, he’s better than they are at X thing. Something. Anything to prove to himself that he’s ‘better’ than them. It’s not a positive, mutual ‘let’s be our best!’ sort of rivalry, but more of a bitter ‘I’d stab you in the back as soon as opportunity presents itself’ sort of thing. Rivalships like this are very rare, but it shows a competitive streak in him that rarely comes to surface otherwise.

—

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

He doesn’t trust strangers, at all. If something happens, he’ll rely on his gut feeling coupled with what he knows to figure out who might be responsible. In terms of betraying him, he’s a lot quicker to suspect some arrogant asshat he’s known a matter of 5 minutes than…someone close to him. I mean…he kinda has a bad track record of that, and not just in this life.

If he’s close with someone, and I mean really close, like Friend™ close…he gets all sort of twisted up inside. He doesn’t want to believe it, but…it has happened before. If it happened to him nowadays he’d likely be more hurt (being so much more hesitant with bestowing trust on people), but back around the Oblivion Crisis…he’d be a mess. Also…run.

When a stranger stabs you in the back, it’s fulfilling an expected outcome. If a friend stabs you in the back…you made it personal, and hurt a hell of a lot worse.

—

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Depends on situation, sometimes those involved. Typically when it’s just him on his own, he’s ready to fight or flee as soon as someone strikes first, but typically tries to avoid physical confrontations if at all possible. With others that either can’t defend themselves or he feels protective Friend™ feelings over, their safety is above anyone else’s possessing hostile intent.

In these instances (much moreso with friends) he’ll try to dissuade conflict like he normally does, but there’s a tension in him. His teeth are shown a little too much when he speaks, his posture a little too threatening. It feels like being near a dog two seconds before a fight breaks out. Or…y’know…a pissed-off, wild animal just waiting to be set loose.

12?

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Like, calmest he’s ever been in his life, that would be when he was really young, sleeping in Sees’ bed, either because of early on when he didn’t have a bed of his own yet, or later on because he has nightmares or just feels lonely in his own bed by himself. Sees doesn’t come off as the cuddly nurturing type, and they aren’t, not really, but when their little one is in need of comfort they’re there, ready to hold them and stroke their feathers until Ei is asleep or calm.

Comparatively speaking, probably cuddling with Maarzi after they’d become partners and trusted one another. Jeer was another candidate for this, but unfortunately for them, J’hasi was stressing way the hell out when they traveled together for years. Maarzi had the benefit that J’hasi was emotionally dead inside when they met, and nothing had changed much other than…well, the aftermath of the Oblivion Crisis and the decline of the Empire.

J’hasi hates sand, but it’s not so bad when there’s a blanket/tent between him and it, and he’s cuddling with a A+ cuddlepartner and they’re stroking his fur and just talking quietly back and forth under the stars yes, much calm.

I was tagged by @deadeyedrifter​ :D

Nicknames: Alpan and many variations thereof. In my AA group of friends I’m either J’hasi, Dargzalzi/Darg, or Abyssal.
Zodiac sign: Sagittarius
Height: Uhhhhhhhhhh 5′7″? I’ve gotten different measurements so idk which one is the right one.
Orientation: Asexual, romantic whatever is under debate rn.
Nationality: ‘Murica

Favorite…
Fruit: Fuck iunno. Watermelon, black grapes…uhhhh… I haven’t had fresh fruit in a while I can’t remember;;;;
Season: Fall! I love cool air and warm sunlight, and just fuckin….crisp leaves and Halloween and shit is just fantastic, I LOVE THE SMELL OF FALLEN LEAVES, but only if they’re dry or freshly rained on, I don’t like rotten leaf smell.
Book: I haven’t read in so long I can’t even remember. I love Good Omens by Neil Gaiman tho, that’s the last book I recall reading.
Flower: I like lilies for some reason??? I’m not sure if that’s just Animal Crossing or what. I like carnivorous plants and stuff tho because they’re super neato, and that plant that curls up when you touch it.
Scent: Forest, especially after it rains. I just really love outdoor smells, and rain is like my ultimate favorite thing ever. I like some other smells too, like campfire, and the smell of campfire when it lingers on your clothes afterwards, sanded or rotting wood, etc.
Color: For wearing, I tend to prefer darker/neutral colors to wear (unless I’m in a good mood, then I’m ok with certain bright colors). I think my overall favorite color ever is bright green, but I love pastels in the right context, lots of dark colors, bright orange, dark purples, that sort of thing. I think my love is red is actually J’hasi’s love of red lmao.
Fictional character: Robin Hood, Obi-Wan Kenobi are longstanding, but lately I’ve been more into my friends’ OCs bc how fucking cool is that that you can have your characters interact with your favorite characters and possibly even help them along on their own adventures it’s pretty goddamn cool.
Song at the moment: I have listened to only one band since around end of term so…the song currently in my head is All Gone by Mother Mother. Also Hayloft bc I was a fool and tried to learn how to play guitar by playing that song and LET ME TELL YOU THAT IS NOT ENTRY-LEVEL GUITARING I think my brain was like ‘THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN’ and didn’t account for the fact that I don’t know how to do much more than pick away rather than chords and tabs n shit. Also  I recently got most of their albums on my ipod which is a godsend when you do boring cleaning all day x_x

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: Coffee I gotta be careful with (caffeine + anxiety x__x), but I love all three. I miss the days when I used to chug a pot of black coffee but I don’t think that’s too healthy, for me or my poor heart.
Average sleep hours: Lately….I actually sleep in 2 chunks. Which alternates over 2 days (I told you guys my sleep was fucked up even more than usual). So it’s usually a chunk of about 3-4 hours, followed by a chunk of either another 3-4, or 8-10 hour chunk.
Number of blankets: One, my poor, poor, coming-apart-at-the-seams comforter. Sometimes two if it gets cold, I cuddle with another blanket I got from my partner :D
Dream trip: Kiiiiinda wanna go to Finland, actually. And Maryland. And Ohio and the Netherlands and other such places. My friends live all over the world and it’s not faiiiir I wanna visit them all ;__;

Blog created: This one was made…….2 years ago? I just remember it was September iirc. Maybe it was more, the concept of time is ehh with me lately.

Tagging: You. If you want.

WHICH MAJOR ARCANA ARE YOU?

Tagged by: @brielleroux

Tagging: Anyone that wants to do this.

The Empress

The Arcana is the means by which all is revealed. Celebrate life’s grandeur…its brilliance…its magnificence…“

The Empress represents motherly, prosperity, creativity, sexuality, abundance, fertility and comfort which most often observed in maintaining peace.

Often belongs to people of authority or wise and motherly figures.

“What a shame, for I dearly love to laugh.”

He was almost a little cross. Almost. But the smile on Brielle’s face, trying to restrain giggles (and failing) had him smiling too, even despite the fact that he was soaked in muddy water and rapidly getting chilled. Ghost nickered, drawing closer and snorting a puff of air in the Khajiit’s face, seeming a little apologetic for her enthusiastic jump that had landed him in the puddle in the first place. J’hasi pat her nose (leaving a muddy handprint behind) before grabbing her mane to help him get up, water streaming off his limbs and tail.

“Yeah, okay, fine, it was a little funny.” He halfheartedly flicked a little muddy water off his fingertips at his friend, more of a tease than actually trying to get her dirty.

i send the symbol for a happy memory – six

He wasn’t expecting his morning to begin with a pair of eyes staring him down.

J’hasi’s fur puffed, his own eyes locked on them for a few moments before their owner finally blinked, a slight curl at the corner of their mouth and lower lids pressing up in a happy smile. Jeer-rah’s voice was a little rough this morning, fans spreading out and illuminated by the patches of sunlight filtering down through the trees.

“<Good morning, Ei.>” The Khajiit smiled a little in return, fur starting to flatten as he rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, his other hand groping for his blanket to pull up even higher. Jeer chuckled, pulling the hem away from his fingers.

“<As much as I like watching you sleep, it’s time to get up.>”

“<S’not time yet, Jeer… Sleep more…>” The Saxhleel huffed through their nose, nudging their sleepy friend, amused at the warm mess of their feathers.

“<I’m hungry and I don’t know which fish are the tasty kinds.>”

“<Jeeer…>”

“<Eiiiiiiii…>” There was a few moments longer of stubborn, sleepy silence before Jeer-rah crawled on top of their companion, squashing him to the ground. The squirming protest made their smile grow until finally, J’hasi relented, smacking his hand on the Argonian’s stomach.

“<Alright, alright, I’m up! Off!>” Jeer chuckled as they slid off, crouching next to the Khajiit as he pushed himself up to sit, glaring a little at his friend until their fans pulled back, making a cheeky expression as they leaned closer. He huffed out a laugh, pushing the Saxhleel’s face away with a firm press on their nose.

“<You’re intolerable.>” The Khajiit complained, yawning hugely and exposing his teeth in the growing sunlight, scratching at his jaw. Jeer preened.

“<Intolerable, but I get what I want. Like right now, for instance.>” J’hasi stretched a little, joints popping before pulling himself out of his blankets, Jeer laying on the still-warm furs for a few moments while the Khajiit stretched his legs and pulled off his shirt.

“<Did you make ff-the trap yet?>” he asked, already heading for the shore. The Argonian rolled to their feet, following.

“<Yes, but I don’t know which ones are the good ones.>” J’hasi crouched down near the trap, eyes flicking over the fish swimming in jerky, darting circles within the sides of the trap.

“<Any of fese are good. Fat one might be a little bland, ff-though.>” Jeer leaned against their warm friend with a smile, nearly pushing them over before their tail curled to support themselves a little more. The Khajiit smiled, closing his eyes and enjoying the quiet.

“<You got stuff for a fire?>” he asked, the Saxhleel chuckling.

“<You and your food-burning.>”

“<Should give it a try, Jeer. Warm meals are nice.>”

“<I’ll think about it. Hist knows I’ll have time with how long it takes.>”

RULES: Tag 10 of your followers!

TAGGED BY: @brielleroux​

TAGGING:​ you

MUSE:

NAME: Gee-Ei, Marsh-Eyes, J’hasi
NICKNAME: Marsh, Ei, Furball, Purrball, Sweet Fang, babe…and other assorted pet names… (Maarzi calls him a lot of things)
ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio (in TES, the Atronach).
GENDER: Agender/slightly fluid?
FAVOURITE COLOR: red
AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 3 to 6, pushing into 9-10 if he’s sleeping with Maarzi/Jeer, in TES, it varies from none to 3-4 hours unless he’s plastered
LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Google translate (Cyrodilic is hard and he needs definitions sometimes)
HEIGHT: 5′9″

MUN:

NAME: Alpan
NICKNAME: Alp, Alps, Alppalachian Mountains, A plan, A plant, Alpant (Also Darg and Abyssal, but not so much here as in my AA friends)
ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarius
GENDER: Agender
FAVORITE COLOR: Bright green
AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 2-5 hours lately >_> then I fall asleep again…
LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Zodiac dates (bc I forgot what J’hasi was) How to spell ‘Appalachian’
HEIGHT: Uhhh…5′7″? Idk…

Opia

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

His head throbbed, an eye swelling shut, and the Khajiit was sure that was blood he was tasting in his mouth. His tongue pushed at his teeth, anxious that one of them would give way under a press like they did in his nightmares so many times. The Redguard helping him walk got him to a stack of crates in the alley alongside the inn, whatever it was called in Ta’agra…Ta’agran? Whichever it was, it was exactly what came out of the stranger’s mouth, at least…he was pretty sure it was. It sounded sorta like it, though it was hard to tell with his head spinning. What they said though, that was a total mystery to the dizzy Khajiit. He caught one or two words, but nothing he could use to gain insight into what was said.

“<Do not talk good. Cyrodilic? Yes?>” By the Hist, it was even harder with a swollen cheek and that dizzying pain in his head. The Redguard laughed, saying something else a little quieter, getting far too close to his face, the Khajiit baring his teeth a little before they stopped and frowned.

“<…hurt?>” J’hasi nodded, adding a little spinning gesture with his finger, hoping that portrayed the dizziness that worsened even at the little nod. He shut his eyes for a moment, trying to keep his stomach from tossing up the water he’d drank, as well as the couple drinks…he didn’t even get to eat his meal did he?

He jumped, smacking away the hand that touched his face with a snarl, wobbling a little before falling off of the crate with a groan, curling up in the dust. The Redguard planted hands on their hips, muttering something before crouching down, pushing him onto his back.

“<Head hit, hurt bad. Sit still.>” The Khajiit spat out a few curses in Jel and Dunmeris alike as he pushed himself to sit up, feeling like he was going to fall right back over before the stranger grabbed him by the front of his shirt at the shoulders, righting him and pushing him against the crates. They were the only thing keeping him up to be honest, he really just wanted to lay down somewhere soft for a little bit… He flinched when the Redguard reached for his face again, giving him a stern look to keep him still before a gentle thumb pushed his eye open a little more, their own looking into his.

It was way too uncomfortable. Those eyes were too much like Jeer’s. He looked away, pushing their hand away from his face again.

“<No.>” The stranger huffed, frowning and looking very impatient with him. More muttered Ta’agra before they spoke up, speaking with the smaller words again.

“<Home? Here? Or no?>” J’hasi huffed, giving the barest shake of his head. The stranger looked at him for a few moments, then sighed, pulling him up to his feet again.

“<Come. Safe place.>” The Khajiit attempted to protest…which might’ve been more effective if he hadn’t suddenly turned to vomit in the alley, nearly losing his balance in the process. It was probably the only reason to be grateful for the firm grip keeping him upright. The last thing he needed was to fall into his own mess.

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