vvardenfellcat

Rather young if you’re referring to religious faith. Though it was more of ‘I’m not an Argonian so the Hist probably doesn’t give a damn about me?? Fuck, now what?’, and its reprise ‘I guess fuck all gods :/’ . Otherwise he’s lost faith in a lot of people over the years, so now the only things he trusts is his spear, and his own claws and teeth.

Somehow it took J’hasi until he and Shadows met again as adults for him to start to slowly lose faith in his questionable ‘friend’ from childhood, though honestly I think it’s more that circumstances led him to believe that’s what friendship was because enslavement and Horrible Things happening for so long. And then repeated betrayals of his trust more or less shut him off to having faith in anyone. Can’t be hurt if you don’t open yourself up. Can’t be betrayed by people you trust if you don’t trust anyone!

I mean, Shadows and D’rahzaar weren’t even the first if you count past lives. In a way it kinda makes J’hasi think he’s cursed or something is wrong with him, that so many people who were friends with him, even in his past lives, betrayed him. He felt as a child that even Sees, his parent, betrayed him by lying to him about what he was, thought he’s worked through that somewhat as an adult. He doesn’t agree with it, but he understands why they did it at least.

As a side-effect, he initially thinks that anyone he trusts is likely to betray him when something happens, which is how he was with Maarzi and Jeer-Rah, who thankfully were the sort of friend that were like ‘what’s wrong friendo, let’s talk’, rather than acting on initial reaction of ‘what the fuck??’.

He still (albeit subconsciously) believes in people to some extent. That people, not all mind, but some will feel compelled to the the right thing. To try to do good in a world that’s full of suck. Not consciously because he believes that the world is more than likely to screw people over rather than help them. No one’s pointed this out to him yet so he hasn’t thought about it obvs.