4E 201, Skyrim, Winterhold College
I thought today was going to be a lot better than it was. First I panic at the thought of going to class, then that elder mer chewed me out in the library, then I run into a room with two Thalmor in it, and worse, I had to actually work with one. That’s not even the last of it. The whelp got us in trouble (thankfully more with him and his superior than with me) and I ended up getting my hands burnt.
(Note to self: see if I can ask Tolfdir to not partner me and Icarus up ever again. I can’t focus with his stupid face smirking at me and his mouth constantly going.)
And then after all of that, I went to the Frozen Hearth (mead’s not bad), only to run into his brother. I didn’t find out until after we’d talked for a bit. He’s nice, polite He’s a member of the Thalmor too. Three of them I have to deal with. By the Hist, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to do this. Especially since Aldaril is under the impression that we’re friendly. I can’t afford to let myself get close to him. I already have a lot in my mind to sort out, and-
I’m smiling. Fuck, this isn’t good. He’s the ENEMY. It doesn’t matter if he carried your drunk ass back and didn’t drop you off the bridge on the way, he’s dangerous and you can’t allow yourself to like him. You’ll get yourself killed. He would turn on you the instant he learned what you are, and you can’t let yourself fall prey to his game. You’ve come too far to get cut down by him because you hesitated because of a fondness for a mer that would kill you if ordered. You’re smarter than that, damn it!
I can’t just outright ignore him, it would draw suspicion. If I keep myself busy, avoid him if I can, then everything should be fine. And definitely no more drinking with him. I said some stupid things and it’s hard to distance myself when he’s carrying me and like an idiot I’m practically cuddling him. I need to stay sober when he’s around so I don’t make that mistake again.
Notes for tomorrow: Ancano is sending Icarus on the Saarthal trip despite saying he needs responsibility before magical training. The Thalmor really need someone on that expedition. It could just be paranoid monitoring, or it could be something else. Small chance of Icarus playing the incompetent fool to give Ancano reason to stick around, but it’s a little unlikely. Do some more digging, find out why they’re here.
vvardenfellcat 